Dick tattoos, ya gotta love ‘em! Any macho muchacho can tattoo their man meat, but it takes a special kind of individual to tattoo a dick on themselves. Wanna have some fun at your local pool this summer? Strip down to your Speedo to reveal that flying cock on your thigh and revel in the reactions. Want to impress your future in-laws? Show them that throbbing beef thermometer you have permanently inked across your back. And remember, it’s not the size of your penis tattoo that matters, it’s who did the work.

You’re so veiny, I bet you think this tattoo’s about you.

Check out these winged wangs.

Just because you didn’t intentionally tattoo a tally-whacker on yourself doesn’t mean you didn’t.

Here are a couple of chicks with dicks.

If 4chan were a tattoo, it’d probably look like this.

Cool, a circumsized banana!

These are so adorable they might actually be ok.

Ah yes, the old beef baloney butterfly. A classic.

Try as you might to hide a wiener inside your fantasy tattoo, we can still pick it out.

With a tattoo like that, your penis is pretty much guaranteed to never catch any vagina.

At the very least, these three are creative. On the left is Scott Stapp of Creed… and a cockrophone. That’s a shamcock in the middle, flanked on the end by a delicious looking cockcake.

These fall into the weird weenies category.

We’re guessing the dude on the left has made a lot of money betting people he’s got a cock that hangs past his knee. The dude on the right, however, may have simply lost a bet.

For more of our (Not So) Complete Tattoo Histories, please see our versions on: Bands | Movies | Television | Books