Catharses don’t come often and they don’t come cheap, so when we learn life’s most valuable lessons about greed, honor, love, courage, jocks and nerds, it’s nice to get some feedback. And there’s no better way to validate a particularly emotional victory than with a long, hard, and distinctively slooooow…

… clap.

Immortalized in a slew of inspirational 1980’s films, the slow clap has remarkably maintained its place as Hollywood’s favorite unthinkable victory cue. It begins with a single clap, often coming from the protagonist’s abandoned best friend or mean yet shockingly honorable nemesis, only to spread through a confused audience faster than Britney’s legs. Soon, our hero stands before a crowd of naysayers who have suddenly seen the light, whooping and hollering their unbridled support despite nearly an hour and a half of being incredible assholes. Is such an emotional U-turn realistic? Hells no, but neither is Corey Haim’s acting.

So throw your hands in the air and wave them like you might have just witnessed something worth caring about, because we proudly present the longest, hardest and slowest clap ever. No applause necessary.

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